Swimming in the Crazy Pond

Starr Cochran

I like a little crazy. It makes us interesting and can mean we’ve enjoyed some fun and adventure in our lives.

Several Kinds if Crazy

Back in my law enforcement days I learned there were several kinds of crazy. There was stupid crazy that often goes along with the naivety of youth. The belief we are invincible can lure us into making some not-so-great choices. Then there’s scary crazy. Whether derived from drugs or mental illness, one look into those nobody’s-home eyes and I knew the situation wasn’t going down easily. There’s no playbook for crazy; we just do the best we can as it comes your way.

Which brings me to crazy in the world of love and dating.

Oh, how I longed for recognizable crazy…I knew it when I saw it.

At this point in life most of us have had decades to deal with, let’s say our personal unfinished business, or our personal craziness. We’ve denied it, buried it, drugged it, dismissed it, massaged it to make it look normal…pretty much everything but deal with it. And I’ll give you that we each have our own definition and degree of crazy. There’s a little-off-the-bubble that’s fun and funny. Love that. Then there’s what I call the certified oddness which could make conversation with a therapist worth the money. One such oddness example is a guy I met on a dating site who left the outside door to his bedroom open. Why, you might ask? So he could put bird seed on the floor to lure wild birds into his house. I get it…he liked birds, but, really, living in an aviary seemed a bit out there for me, especially with two house cats on the prowl. Play mates perhaps? On top of that the master tub was filled with water to the brim and was still that way on my return trip days later. And no duck in sight. To this day I’m kicking myself for not asking about that. If only everybody wore their weebery on their sleeves like he did.

The Crazy Switch

Then there’s the crazy switch. We all have one, as individual as we are. Unfortunately, we’ve had many years to accumulate triggers for this switch. Rejection, insecurity, fear…pretty much any this-really-sucks side of the emotional chart.

All of which makes trying to make a special connection a challenge.

So you’re in the middle of a normal whatever and suddenly…there it is. Full blown crazy. It could be as simple as a server making a small error on an order or a casual comment that zaps your companion to a flashback of a previous hurt. Of course, the switch flick usually involves some sort of scene whether it be minor (lucky you), major (I’m so sorry for you), public (ouch) or private (at least there’s that). It can happen on a first date (we can only hope) or some time down the dating road. In any case, out of nowhere and so not fun.

All in all, let’s remember that we are part of this pond too. So before we act on the need to fix somebody else let’s work on ourselves. No doubt there’s plenty to keep us busy. And perhaps if we’re lucky our crazy will match their crazy and we can have some fun and live happily ever after.