Sometimes It’s Not All About You

Starr Cochran

People and situations come into our lives for a reason, a good reason.

I’m not saying to get twisted up and bogged down in analysis at every event, just the biggies. Being a recovering over-thinker, I know, sometimes easier said than done.

What I’ve learned in this arena is that part of human nature is being a bit self-absorbed. After all, our view of the world is about us. So when we attempt to make sense of an experience we look for the personal takeaway when in fact perhaps we are the instrument or catalyst for change for another. Not that being that mechanism for their growth is necessarily easy for us. We are a participant and as such we hardly can walk away unscathed. And sometimes it can hurt like hell.

Okay, now before the analytical types out there start to conjure up a scale tipping more toward a teacher or student role as you process the situation, how about looking at the interaction as a circle of growth, an exchange of learning together, about ourselves, about life, about whatever. It’s not necessarily all about you or them, but both of you. Here. Now. Each will be affected a bit, a lot. Life changing or hardly a wrinkle in the memory bank.

Having said that though there can be times when you sense you’re in the mix to give more than to receive. When you get that feeling remember that the best teachers are there to answer our questions, relay information, guide, and above all, to listen. It’s not about applying a layer of judgment or should-ing them into what you think is best. It’s their life, not yours.

No matter what’s going on with you and another, be present. Look into their eyes and listen with your heart. The mind will take in the information it needs, but the heart gives it meaning, gives us meaning.

When the time has come to move on from this crossing of paths after however long we have been together, and when perhaps it hasn’t been all about you, know that we’ve been forever changed and maybe have helped another human along their way to wherever that may be.