A Special Someone

Starr Cochran

Given the curious sort I am, I often ask couples how they met. A glance across a crowded room. A shift from friendship to something deeper. Eyes meeting in passing that makes you turn around. The stories are as varied as the two people whose time has come.

I often say that the stars aligned, and I believe there’s some truth to that. Like the many other occurrences in our lives, when the time is right, whatever will happen, will happen. There’s no controlling it or forcing that magic moment, but we can increase our chances a bit.

Einstein said: Nothing happens until something moves. For our purposes here – nothing is going to happen until you move. Your special someone isn’t going to knock on your door unless they happen to be a delivery person. And come on, what are the chances of that?

So, I’ve got a few suggestions for you – all tweakable, of course, according to your comfort level.

Get out. It doesn’t matter where you go or what you do just pick places where people are. Dah. And while you’re there, slow it down. A friend of mine pointed out that if you walk too fast it doesn’t allow someone the opportunity to notice you, or perhaps approach you. Try this next time you go to the gym.

But before you head out the door… Look nice. Put some clean clothes on, run a comb through your hair and swipe on some mascara. Even if you’re just going to the grocery store. If you want to be noticed, be noticeable. 

And while you’re out there… make eye contact and a quick smile if you feel like it. If you’re feeling really froggy, say hello. Now I hear you. I know there are people who have less than desirable intentions, but you’re in public place with people around you. You can be aware and be safe and still approachable.

Get online. I’ve been in the trenches of online dating for awhile now and it’s certainly not for everybody, but it’s a platform that’s worked for many people. Give it a whirl. You never know.

Join a group. An easy way to find groups which align with your interests is through the online Meetup community, which is available in many areas. Each group offers a variety of events and activities that are fun and comfortable to attend solo.

Take a class. In person. If you’re trying to connect with a special someone, it’s probably not going to happen on Zoom.

Put your intention out there. Who are you trying to call into your life? What’s important to you? What does that relationship look like? Write it down. Be specific. That old saying – be careful what you wish for, you may just get it – has some merit here.

A few closing comments as you go about living life with your love antenna on alert. No matter what you’re doing on any given day show up with a positive attitude and no expectations. Be open to who and what shows up. Let the relationship take its course as you get to know one another. Someone who was initially a potential partner could end up being a new friend.

Oh, and finally, we can spend a lot of time looking for that elusive “one” and get our panties in a bunch when our “one” blows us off. Trust me, there is another “one.”